Skip to content

Sunday Funny: un-stinging rejection

July 22, 2012

picture via office.com

Earlier this week, I received a rejection letter from a submission I made a few months ago. I started reading it and then burst out laughing. Yet another editor writing me with errors making their venue appear foolish. Needless to say, I’m sharing some of them with you, perhaps you’ll find them amusing enough to cover that initial jolt if you receive a negative letter from somewhere you’ve submitted your work.

Please keep in mind many of these are minuscule errors, but to a writer they represent grave transgressions. Never would I have submitted my work to these venues if I knew they did not edit their own correspondence. I consider myself and you, forewarned…not every editor uses his/her god-given brain or spell-check!

 

“Dear Author, while we like your work, it doesn’t seam to fit our needs at the present time.” No? Perhaps I should alter it?

“Thank you for repaying to our magazine’s submission guidelines…” I don’t remember the initial payment…hmmm.

“Your work did not appeal to the judges…Please try again us in the future.”  I certainly will, not!

“Your submission was rejected due to a lack of interest.” Does that mean not enough submissions were made or they didn’t like mine? I dunno?

“Your submission was considered and rejected. We appreciate your interest in…and hope you will not submit to us in the future.” Indeed! Your wish is my command! Can’t decide if they really wanted not in there or is it a deliberate symbol for me personally?

“The editorial bored met and have reached their conclusions for this month’s submissions…” I’ll bet they were – boring!

“We are pleased to announce the upcoming inclusions for the fall guide: and you are have not been chosen.” Too many helping verbs? Not enough actual help? Somehow I don’t think they were to ‘include’ all those choices.

and my all-time favorite:

“Your credentials are superb, but we are looking for someone with a Batchelor’s degree in Women’s Studies.” Clearly I don’t have that!

There are still others that I could list here, but you get my point…laugh while you can, and keep submitting your work!

namaste ;)

More Sunday Funnies

About these ads
64 Comments leave one →
  1. August 10, 2012 2:07 pm

    The editorial staff at Ralph’s has opened your envelope. They had to paws for a while as they had to empty the kitty and go out and buy milk. On reading your attached litter, Tom the Chief Editor, while prowling around the office said your submission is purrfect for our magazine. However the right hand corner of your litter was curled up and is now in the basket. We have lost your address and with great pride are going out on the tiles tonight.
    Sincerely, Major Whiskers CAT&bar

    Hi Roxie, just passing by. Found this by the cat flap

  2. August 8, 2012 1:04 am

    Hi Roxie. I love your work. Thank You for liking my poem The Cinema Gunman. These terrible crimes are happening too often. I am for peace and understanding. In our society this is only a dream. Take Care. Malctg

    • August 8, 2012 1:08 am

      aren’t you so very kind Malctg…
      I’m enjoying your work on your blog, too! yes it’s a tragedy…
      namaste
      Roxie

  3. August 3, 2012 9:46 am

    Thanks for the laugh today. I’m glad you can find the humor. I often wonder if people, and you think editors would, read what they write before sending their letters out. I know I’ve been guilty of making mistakes, but this is pretty funny. Good luck with your writing!

    • August 5, 2012 12:54 am

      oh TBM you are very welcome, and I thank you, for stopping by. Really appreciate your thoughts, namaste Roxie :)

  4. August 1, 2012 3:22 am

    These are all funny! I have noticed an increase lately in a lot of places where words are misspelled or even used in the wrong way!

  5. July 23, 2012 10:23 pm

    All it takes is for good people, smart and caring people, to accept it as the norm. Change it, please. I’m a retired teacher volunteering my time full-time to change the attitude that that’s OK. It’s not!

    And everywhere I try to connect, there’s no place for a volunteering teacher who’s at a point where she needs support for just trying different venues and asking them to include a place for her. That’s how incompetence gets a foothold! Honest! Oh, yeah, That goes for the university where I’m an emeritus professor, too.

    Laugh; it’s good for us. But stand up and be heard. It’s not OK!

    • July 24, 2012 9:02 pm

      Thanks Jeanne, you’re very correct! I figure karma will work and that’ll be the end of it…sorry that’ you’re so talented and underused! Hang in there and keep volunteering, one student at a time :)

  6. July 23, 2012 8:57 pm

    Those are a riot! Thanks for sharing. I have been looking for something to do. Maybe I’ll look into what it takes to get a Batchelor’s degree. It might be one of a kind.

    • July 24, 2012 9:00 pm

      oh Char, do it, cause you’re probably closer than you think to the degree, LOL…that one is over ten years old, just had to hang onto it because it’s a gem!

  7. July 23, 2012 7:23 pm

    I have just nominated you for A Lovely Blog Award.
    http://cristimoise.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/simple-interesting-recognized-as-one-lovely-blog/
    I would be honoured if you accept.

    • July 24, 2012 8:59 pm

      thanks so much Cristi, really humbled by your nomination… namaste :)

  8. July 23, 2012 5:59 pm

    Ya seam to handel rejeksun reel gud, Rox! Thanx for the giggles! ;-)

    • July 24, 2012 8:49 pm

      Oh Ann, I’m ROFL! me thanks you very much! glad you enjoyed it :)

  9. July 23, 2012 3:27 pm

    Oh, too good. Must have a poster of these for the wall as encouragement!

    • July 24, 2012 8:46 pm

      now that’s an idea, Phil…I’m always hanging stuff up to inspire, had these tucked out of sight, but…hmmm :)

  10. July 23, 2012 12:20 pm

    Ah ha … the positive side of a rejection letter. :)

    • July 24, 2012 8:44 pm

      I try, Frank, always spinning the positive, cause there’s enough negative around that’ll bowl ya over if you’re not careful, LOL

  11. July 23, 2012 4:23 am

    Oh, please tell me that you’re going to highlight their errors and send it back!!! Please!!!

    • July 24, 2012 8:43 pm

      Kimberly, that would be delish! I wish I’d thought of that…some are years and years old, so it would be pointless now, but you’ve given me thoughts for the future ones ;)

  12. Kim permalink
    July 23, 2012 1:29 am

    Really?! Too funny, which is a good thing when someone is saying – no matter how poorly – they are rejecting your work. thanks for the chuckle.

    • July 24, 2012 8:41 pm

      glad you enjoyed it Kim, I thought it was great for a laugh, too :)

  13. July 22, 2012 4:43 pm

    I’m just a guy with a poetic reply…

    I once got a rejection letter,
    The spelling could have been much better;
    They couldn’t write right,
    Their errors weren’t slight,
    I threw it right into the shredder.

    Compliments of Humorous Interludes
    http://ronyaroshauthor.com/

    • July 22, 2012 11:37 pm

      yay, Ron, the right thing to do, or as someone suggested to me years ago, paper a wall with all of them and when you fill the room you’ll reach publication, LOL :)

      • July 23, 2012 7:05 pm

        Paper a wall? I could paper the Great Wall of China with my rejections. I could create my own Wailing Wall for the same purpose. That’s why I went electronic via blogging, and my ebook at Amazon.

        • July 24, 2012 8:51 pm

          Oh, Ron, you’ve given me an idea: a writer’s wailing wall! genius! hey, seriously, I know, cause if I did paper a wall it would wrap around, well my neighborhood! ;)

    • July 23, 2012 12:45 am

      another delightful poem, thank you! you’re a marvelous talent and I’m so honored you share it here! ;)

      • July 23, 2012 7:01 pm

        Your welcome. I’m humbled by your comment.

        • July 24, 2012 8:50 pm

          well, Ron, you’re just talented, period. end of discussion. wait I can go on more, hehehe…I really do appreciate your poems and your visits ;)

  14. July 22, 2012 4:30 pm

    LOVE THIS! I was about 17 when I got my friend rejection letter. I was really shocked and hurt, afterall, my high creative writing class loved it. hehe. I’m the kind of writer who usually needs an editor at the other end. I’m comforted to learn that at least some of them aren’t quite as careful (being polite) as I’d have expected.

    • July 22, 2012 4:30 pm

      *geez… make “friend” = first . hahahhaha

    • July 22, 2012 11:36 pm

      omg, 17 for the first one, Yordie? Geez, that’s rough…
      the thing I think about is that they’re human too, and every venue is not a fit for my work, but then I reserve to laugh at idiocy! ;)

      • July 23, 2012 3:41 am

        I had an inflated view of my ability. The rejection was necessary.

        • July 24, 2012 8:42 pm

          oh Yordie, don’t say that! we writers rarely have an inflated opinion of our work…the opposite in fact…don’t rain on your own parade ;)

          • July 24, 2012 9:26 pm

            I’ve learned a lot since then, Roxie. I know my voice, know who i am and what i’m capable of. I also know many of my shortcomings. So i’m all good and headed forward. Recently starting writing for an online magazing. irez.me This are ok even with some rejection slips. ;-) Thank you

            • July 25, 2012 2:09 pm

              yay! that’s positive thinking…the only way to be Yordie. I was worried for a minute, so glad you came back to set me straight, LOL.

  15. July 22, 2012 3:51 pm

    Seriously?! :lol:

    • July 22, 2012 11:33 pm

      yep! most of the rejections I’ve acquired are edited and top-notch, but these, and a few others, are worth poking and laughing about!

  16. Claire A. Iannini permalink
    July 22, 2012 3:36 pm

    OMGosh – certainly cause for concern – these flubbers should be looked at as ‘gifts’ and an opportunity to move on to bigger and better venues. Guess they can be looked upon as bitter-sweet moments in life!

    • July 22, 2012 11:32 pm

      That’s absolutely right, Claire, gifts and ones to laugh out loud about, hehehe!

  17. July 22, 2012 3:20 pm

    Roxie,
    Were all these in one submission rejection letter or are these examples you have received over a long period of time?

    • July 22, 2012 11:31 pm

      They were over years, Linda, no one place or one venue…and I’ve acquired more than I want to admit here, lol…but that’s typical, right?

  18. July 22, 2012 3:19 pm

    Ahh all the things that computers don’t “fix.”. LOL. Okay, those letters make me feel good about the one’s I’ve got piled up.
    A Batchelor’s degree indeed.

    • July 22, 2012 11:30 pm

      Right, Eva? Hey, maybe I one needs a batchelor’s degree if one is a batchelorette? lol so glad that we can laugh about those dang rejections :)

  19. Thomas Evans permalink
    July 22, 2012 2:22 pm

    I remember a book rejection letter I got from a big house almost two years after beingcasked to submit it that had a huge number of mistakes. It made me smile because the nature of the mistakes made it clear that the editor in question had at least written it personally. It was also clear she had not read the letter I sent with it.

    • July 22, 2012 11:28 pm

      I know, right? makes the writer in me sit up and salute, but then again it is happening too often for amusement now, Thomas…

      • July 23, 2012 4:57 pm

        Agreed. In fact, I have finally been convinced by my friends, the well published award winning ones, to just go ahead and publish my most recent book myself. The present state of the publishing industry shows that the lack of desire to take chances and failure to understand the developing nature of the market… oh wait. I’m about to go off on a monologue.

        Suffice it to say that your letter (and mine) show deeper issues in the publishing industry than the lack of spell or grammer checking…

        • July 24, 2012 8:48 pm

          Yay, Thomas! Go for it…
          so true, the big ones missed the boat, but they’re in it for the bottom dollar, scraping and nudging to get the last morsel from others…you know the celebs who need people like me to make them look intelligent…oh wait did I just say that out loud?

          • July 24, 2012 10:09 pm

            Hee hee hee!!! Nope. You didn’t say a thing. I’ll let you know when I release it.

            • July 25, 2012 2:09 pm

              hehehe! Do let me know, Thomas, cause I’ll want to buy a signed copy ;)

            • July 25, 2012 10:23 pm

              You won’t need to pay. Do you do any particular form of digital (.e.g. epub, KF8, iBook, etc? I can send you a digital advanced copy signed…

            • July 26, 2012 2:15 am

              omgosh Thomas! that would be awesome! um, kindle or sony, I have both, but epub is readable by most right? you’re so generous, I’m honored!

  20. July 22, 2012 1:55 pm

    You’re kidding me? Did they have their 6-year-olds write these? They are not little transgressions. I would have lost my job if I did these!

    • July 22, 2012 11:27 pm

      Me too! and I certainly wouldn’t sign my name to them, but it’s pretty typical of things now, Kate. Sad to say.

  21. July 22, 2012 1:15 pm

    I love this post, it gives me hope, if editors make such errors…

  22. K.L. Gore permalink
    July 22, 2012 12:57 pm

    There’s no way I’d submit to those markets again. I could understand leaving out an “a” or “an,” after all, even in a read-through that’s easy to miss. But those are signs of sloppy editing, big time! It’s incredulous that a publishing company would allow those types of mistakes to be sent out. Nice post, it gave me a good laugh. :)

    • July 22, 2012 11:26 pm

      so glad you got a chuckle K.L.! yeah, it’s pretty sloppy, but sad nowadays, more the ‘norm’ :)

thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 5,224 other followers

%d bloggers like this: