Sunday Funny: un-stinging rejection

picture via office.com

Earlier this week, I received a rejection letter from a submission I made a few months ago. I started reading it and then burst out laughing. Yet another editor writing me with errors making their venue appear foolish. Needless to say, I’m sharing some of them with you, perhaps you’ll find them amusing enough to cover that initial jolt if you receive a negative letter from somewhere you’ve submitted your work.

Please keep in mind many of these are minuscule errors, but to a writer they represent grave transgressions. Never would I have submitted my work to these venues if I knew they did not edit their own correspondence. I consider myself and you, forewarned…not every editor uses his/her god-given brain or spell-check!

 

“Dear Author, while we like your work, it doesn’t seam to fit our needs at the present time.” No? Perhaps I should alter it?

“Thank you for repaying to our magazine’s submission guidelines…” I don’t remember the initial payment…hmmm.

“Your work did not appeal to the judges…Please try again us in the future.”  I certainly will, not!

“Your submission was rejected due to a lack of interest.” Does that mean not enough submissions were made or they didn’t like mine? I dunno?

“Your submission was considered and rejected. We appreciate your interest in…and hope you will not submit to us in the future.” Indeed! Your wish is my command! Can’t decide if they really wanted not in there or is it a deliberate symbol for me personally?

“The editorial bored met and have reached their conclusions for this month’s submissions…” I’ll bet they were – boring!

“We are pleased to announce the upcoming inclusions for the fall guide: and you are have not been chosen.” Too many helping verbs? Not enough actual help? Somehow I don’t think they were to ‘include’ all those choices.

and my all-time favorite:

“Your credentials are superb, but we are looking for someone with a Batchelor’s degree in Women’s Studies.” Clearly I don’t have that!

There are still others that I could list here, but you get my point…laugh while you can, and keep submitting your work!

namaste😉

More Sunday Funnies

64 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ralph
    Aug 10, 2012 @ 14:07:23

    The editorial staff at Ralph’s has opened your envelope. They had to paws for a while as they had to empty the kitty and go out and buy milk. On reading your attached litter, Tom the Chief Editor, while prowling around the office said your submission is purrfect for our magazine. However the right hand corner of your litter was curled up and is now in the basket. We have lost your address and with great pride are going out on the tiles tonight.
    Sincerely, Major Whiskers CAT&bar

    Hi Roxie, just passing by. Found this by the cat flap

    Reply

  2. malctg
    Aug 08, 2012 @ 01:04:40

    Hi Roxie. I love your work. Thank You for liking my poem The Cinema Gunman. These terrible crimes are happening too often. I am for peace and understanding. In our society this is only a dream. Take Care. Malctg

    Reply

  3. TBM
    Aug 03, 2012 @ 09:46:38

    Thanks for the laugh today. I’m glad you can find the humor. I often wonder if people, and you think editors would, read what they write before sending their letters out. I know I’ve been guilty of making mistakes, but this is pretty funny. Good luck with your writing!

    Reply

  4. Michael Glover
    Aug 01, 2012 @ 03:22:44

    These are all funny! I have noticed an increase lately in a lot of places where words are misspelled or even used in the wrong way!

    Reply

  5. Jeanne Curran
    Jul 23, 2012 @ 22:23:48

    All it takes is for good people, smart and caring people, to accept it as the norm. Change it, please. I’m a retired teacher volunteering my time full-time to change the attitude that that’s OK. It’s not!

    And everywhere I try to connect, there’s no place for a volunteering teacher who’s at a point where she needs support for just trying different venues and asking them to include a place for her. That’s how incompetence gets a foothold! Honest! Oh, yeah, That goes for the university where I’m an emeritus professor, too.

    Laugh; it’s good for us. But stand up and be heard. It’s not OK!

    Reply

    • Roxie
      Jul 24, 2012 @ 21:02:21

      Thanks Jeanne, you’re very correct! I figure karma will work and that’ll be the end of it…sorry that’ you’re so talented and underused! Hang in there and keep volunteering, one student at a time🙂

      Reply

  6. char
    Jul 23, 2012 @ 20:57:19

    Those are a riot! Thanks for sharing. I have been looking for something to do. Maybe I’ll look into what it takes to get a Batchelor’s degree. It might be one of a kind.

    Reply

  7. Cristi M.
    Jul 23, 2012 @ 19:23:12

    I have just nominated you for A Lovely Blog Award.
    http://cristimoise.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/simple-interesting-recognized-as-one-lovely-blog/
    I would be honoured if you accept.

    Reply

  8. Ann Eisenstein
    Jul 23, 2012 @ 17:59:24

    Ya seam to handel rejeksun reel gud, Rox! Thanx for the giggles!😉

    Reply

  9. philosophermouseofthehedge
    Jul 23, 2012 @ 15:27:05

    Oh, too good. Must have a poster of these for the wall as encouragement!

    Reply

  10. aFrankAngle
    Jul 23, 2012 @ 12:20:19

    Ah ha … the positive side of a rejection letter.🙂

    Reply

    • Roxie
      Jul 24, 2012 @ 20:44:31

      I try, Frank, always spinning the positive, cause there’s enough negative around that’ll bowl ya over if you’re not careful, LOL

      Reply

  11. Kimberly King
    Jul 23, 2012 @ 04:23:47

    Oh, please tell me that you’re going to highlight their errors and send it back!!! Please!!!

    Reply

    • Roxie
      Jul 24, 2012 @ 20:43:41

      Kimberly, that would be delish! I wish I’d thought of that…some are years and years old, so it would be pointless now, but you’ve given me thoughts for the future ones😉

      Reply

  12. Kim
    Jul 23, 2012 @ 01:29:51

    Really?! Too funny, which is a good thing when someone is saying – no matter how poorly – they are rejecting your work. thanks for the chuckle.

    Reply

  13. Ron
    Jul 22, 2012 @ 16:43:56

    I’m just a guy with a poetic reply…

    I once got a rejection letter,
    The spelling could have been much better;
    They couldn’t write right,
    Their errors weren’t slight,
    I threw it right into the shredder.

    Compliments of Humorous Interludes
    http://ronyaroshauthor.com/

    Reply

  14. Yordie Sands
    Jul 22, 2012 @ 16:30:07

    LOVE THIS! I was about 17 when I got my friend rejection letter. I was really shocked and hurt, afterall, my high creative writing class loved it. hehe. I’m the kind of writer who usually needs an editor at the other end. I’m comforted to learn that at least some of them aren’t quite as careful (being polite) as I’d have expected.

    Reply

  15. Sword-chinned bitch
    Jul 22, 2012 @ 15:51:02

    Seriously?! 😆

    Reply

    • Roxie
      Jul 22, 2012 @ 23:33:18

      yep! most of the rejections I’ve acquired are edited and top-notch, but these, and a few others, are worth poking and laughing about!

      Reply

  16. Claire A. Iannini
    Jul 22, 2012 @ 15:36:02

    OMGosh – certainly cause for concern – these flubbers should be looked at as ‘gifts’ and an opportunity to move on to bigger and better venues. Guess they can be looked upon as bitter-sweet moments in life!

    Reply

  17. lindamartinandersen
    Jul 22, 2012 @ 15:20:17

    Roxie,
    Were all these in one submission rejection letter or are these examples you have received over a long period of time?

    Reply

    • Roxie
      Jul 22, 2012 @ 23:31:37

      They were over years, Linda, no one place or one venue…and I’ve acquired more than I want to admit here, lol…but that’s typical, right?

      Reply

  18. 47whitebuffalo
    Jul 22, 2012 @ 15:19:37

    Ahh all the things that computers don’t “fix.”. LOL. Okay, those letters make me feel good about the one’s I’ve got piled up.
    A Batchelor’s degree indeed.

    Reply

    • Roxie
      Jul 22, 2012 @ 23:30:16

      Right, Eva? Hey, maybe I one needs a batchelor’s degree if one is a batchelorette? lol so glad that we can laugh about those dang rejections🙂

      Reply

  19. Thomas Evans
    Jul 22, 2012 @ 14:22:25

    I remember a book rejection letter I got from a big house almost two years after beingcasked to submit it that had a huge number of mistakes. It made me smile because the nature of the mistakes made it clear that the editor in question had at least written it personally. It was also clear she had not read the letter I sent with it.

    Reply

    • Roxie
      Jul 22, 2012 @ 23:28:59

      I know, right? makes the writer in me sit up and salute, but then again it is happening too often for amusement now, Thomas…

      Reply

      • Thomas Evans
        Jul 23, 2012 @ 16:57:49

        Agreed. In fact, I have finally been convinced by my friends, the well published award winning ones, to just go ahead and publish my most recent book myself. The present state of the publishing industry shows that the lack of desire to take chances and failure to understand the developing nature of the market… oh wait. I’m about to go off on a monologue.

        Suffice it to say that your letter (and mine) show deeper issues in the publishing industry than the lack of spell or grammer checking…

        Reply

        • Roxie
          Jul 24, 2012 @ 20:48:37

          Yay, Thomas! Go for it…
          so true, the big ones missed the boat, but they’re in it for the bottom dollar, scraping and nudging to get the last morsel from others…you know the celebs who need people like me to make them look intelligent…oh wait did I just say that out loud?

          Reply

  20. katecrimmins
    Jul 22, 2012 @ 13:55:46

    You’re kidding me? Did they have their 6-year-olds write these? They are not little transgressions. I would have lost my job if I did these!

    Reply

  21. bulldogsturf
    Jul 22, 2012 @ 13:15:04

    I love this post, it gives me hope, if editors make such errors…

    Reply

  22. K.L. Gore
    Jul 22, 2012 @ 12:57:47

    There’s no way I’d submit to those markets again. I could understand leaving out an “a” or “an,” after all, even in a read-through that’s easy to miss. But those are signs of sloppy editing, big time! It’s incredulous that a publishing company would allow those types of mistakes to be sent out. Nice post, it gave me a good laugh.🙂

    Reply

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