Earlier this week, I received a rejection letter from a submission I made a few months ago. I started reading it and then burst out laughing. Yet another editor writing me with errors making their venue appear foolish. Needless to say, I’m sharing some of them with you, perhaps you’ll find them amusing enough to cover that initial jolt if you receive a negative letter from somewhere you’ve submitted your work.
Please keep in mind many of these are minuscule errors, but to a writer they represent grave transgressions. Never would I have submitted my work to these venues if I knew they did not edit their own correspondence. I consider myself and you, forewarned…not every editor uses his/her god-given brain or spell-check!
“Dear Author, while we like your work, it doesn’t seam to fit our needs at the present time.” No? Perhaps I should alter it?
“Thank you for repaying to our magazine’s submission guidelines…” I don’t remember the initial payment…hmmm.
“Your work did not appeal to the judges…Please try again us in the future.” I certainly will, not!
“Your submission was rejected due to a lack of interest.” Does that mean not enough submissions were made or they didn’t like mine? I dunno?
“Your submission was considered and rejected. We appreciate your interest in…and hope you will not submit to us in the future.” Indeed! Your wish is my command! Can’t decide if they really wanted not in there or is it a deliberate symbol for me personally?
“The editorial bored met and have reached their conclusions for this month’s submissions…” I’ll bet they were – boring!
“We are pleased to announce the upcoming inclusions for the fall guide: and you are have not been chosen.” Too many helping verbs? Not enough actual help? Somehow I don’t think they were to ‘include’ all those choices.
and my all-time favorite:
“Your credentials are superb, but we are looking for someone with a Batchelor’s degree in Women’s Studies.” Clearly I don’t have that!
There are still others that I could list here, but you get my point…laugh while you can, and keep submitting your work!