Sunday Funny: intelli-gent battle of the sexes revisited

ready for battle

image by office.com

WOMEN’S REVENGE 
‘Cash, check or charge?’ I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. 
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. 
‘So, do you always carry your TV remote?’ I asked. 
‘No,’ she replied, ‘but my husband refused to come shopping with me, 
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.’


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
 
(A MAN’S PERSPECTIVE) 
I know I’m not going to understand women. 
I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, 
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, 
and still be afraid of a spider.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND 
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. 
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and 
neither of them wanted to concede their position.. 
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, 
the husband asked sarcastically, ‘Relatives of yours?’ 
‘Yep,’ the wife replied, ‘in-laws.’


WORDS
 
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day. 
30,000 to a man’s 15,000. 
The wife replied, ‘The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men… 
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, ‘What?’


CREATION
 
A man said to his wife one day, ‘I don’t know how you can be 
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. 
The wife responded, ‘Allow me to explain. 
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; 
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!


WHO DOES WHAT
 
A man and his wife were having an argument about who 
should brew the coffee each morning. 
The wife said, ‘You should do it because you get up first, 
and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee. 
The husband said, ‘You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.’ 
Wife replies, ‘No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.’ 
Husband replies, ‘I can’t believe that, show me.’
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the Old Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . ‘HEBREWS’

Moral:

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

 

Yes, special thanks to Ralph at Bluefish Way, my funny bone tickler. His daily supply of laughs keep me going: you’re awesome, SIR RALPH! I’m just going to make a button that states: special continuing thanks to Ralph at Bluefish Way. 

granter of giggles

granter of giggles

 

 

 

More Sunday Funnies…

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24 thoughts on “Sunday Funny: intelli-gent battle of the sexes revisited

  1. Turn the dough once to coat, then cover the bowl with a damp
    dishtowel. Cook the chicken first in a little olive oil – cut the
    chicken into little cubes. It is not like ordinary dough,
    it is not supposed to be soft as a baby’s bottom.

  2. Pingback: A few jokes to start you day, Woman’s Perfect Breakfast, WOMEN’S REVENGE, UNDERSTANDING WOMEN, MARRIAGE SEMINAR «

    • trying not to be a ‘man-basher’ but there’s just too much material to work with. thanks for sticking it out and adding your voice, Mike! Not all dudes are duds 😉

  3. Yes, Good Humor in abundance today! LOL.
    Very tasty “bars” too–even if they’re not ice cream
    But perhaps they are??? Creamy smooth replies icely delivered.
    Works for ME!
    Very wickedly sweet post, Roxie.
    Still smirking.

  4. Even though I am a man, I have to laugh at the Moral of these jokes:

    “God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece”

    😀 xox

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