image from office.com
I’ve heard many a helpful sentiment this week, and I appreciate them all. Truly do.
Since I’m a nerdy word peep, I probed my brain’s recesses for more wise sayings, you know, to get through this interesting situation I find myself mired in. Then I had an “aha moment”. What would these aphorisms be like with a slight twist?
I present to you shaken and stirred, twisted and bent, new Parables:
· The kettle does not care whether you are watching or not.
· The early worm gets eaten by the bird.
· You can’t have everything, where would you put it?
· Once bitten by two dogs.
· When days are dark turn on the light.
· When friends are few enjoy the abundance.
· A bird in hand is worth two on a dating site.
· God helps those who don’t need help.
· Only drunk people ever have to say ‘I’m not drunk’.
· Leave all the stones unturned unless you are looking for insects and worms.
· Denial is not just a river in Egypt.
· Pennywise pound millionaire.
· If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t, either.
· When one door is closed it quickly becomes a fad.
· He who hesitates probably smoked weed.
· Time wounds all heels.
· Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.
· Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we will be broke.
Credit: Yummie Lifestyle Magazine post by Kadar Khan…though the site hasn’t been updated in about a year, the bikini pictures may still offend some…you have been prepared.
What parable missed twisting?
Hilarious stuff, Roxie!
thanks, Hook!
(that 3rd one is so applicable here)
“Act in haste and forget about leisure once the kid is born”
Brain dead – that’s all I can get right now.
You did much better!
hehehe, totally understand the brain dead concept.
then there’s the saying, “Drinking alcoholic beverages before pregnancy may cause pregnancy.”
“And the only safe contraceptive is an aspirin trapped between her knees” 😉
hmmm, that’s an interesting tip Ralph 🙂
Some of these are truer than true. If I may suggest another: Never look a gift horse in the a** – you might get a kick out of him!
expanding on that, “Never look a gift horse in the a**, cause the sh** doesn’t hit the fan!” thanks Ann, for inspiring my creative wicked side, LOL!
hehe Roxie. “Window dressing can bring on a glazed look” Ralph xox 😀
oh wow, so good…hmmm, I think you need to run a post with some of your sayings, Ralph. They’d be awesome!
May be worth thinking about……. *US$5 should just cover it* 😉 Thanks Roxie 😀
LOVE THESE – How about one more: “The light at the end of the tunnel – might be the lights of the train”!
Let us wish this on the ‘betrayer’ – in due time!!
Love ya!!
excellent, Claire! I think that’s probably truest, if I can use that improperly.
most definitely, their train will eventually derail, that’s just karma 🙂
“This too shall be passed.”
Just think about it for a moment.
Yeah, a tad slow at my end here…….
smirking in a dark corner now
nah, I think I got it too quickly, hehehe. ok Eva, I’m laughing at “slow at my end here” now that’s funneee!
These are great, Roxie. Thanks!
I had a college roommate who always said: “Eat, drink, and be merry…knowing full well that tomorrow you’ll wake up fat, miserable and throwing up in your shoes.”
(She was a little ray of sunshine.)
ahhh, college, where did those days go? “Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you’ll wear those shoes!” grand, Marylin, just grand! 😉
Love these!
Let’s add: “This, too, shall go on forever.” But that seems very bleak, so how about “The squeaky wheel gets thrown out.”
hahaha, yes it’s bleak, love how you dug deeper, Jilanne, that’s what I’m going to remember, throw the squeak out!
Here’s my take on one: Why burning the candle at both ends is not a wise thing to do…You may see your life go up in smoke.
yikes, Linda, that’s seriously so true!
Roxie, laughing here. I so enjoy your Sundays. I’ve one more for you “It’s always darkest just before it turns completely black!” I’m going to save some of the others you’ve shared … I love twisted sayings, sometimes goes with our twisted lives (certainly brightens the day) Thank you! 🙂
yay! Oh, yes ma’am, that’s another great one, Penny!