Warning bathroom humor ahead

Typing these words, house keeper, I shudder! I abhor dusting, vacuuming, scrubbing, yadda, yadda, yadda. Yet I crave order and cleanliness! Hurumphhhh.

Every bit a modern woman, I’d like to say house duties are split. But I can’t. 😉

My husband is our groundskeeper, well, to a point. He mows down the tall green plants in our front and back yard. I yank weeds from flower and veggie beds. Even Steven there.

Inside it’s a different story. However, I’m not here to moan and groan about that.

The other day, when I was bathroom cleaning, I thought of two funny instances from my past when I was caught unexpectedly, with my hand in the toilet.

Years ago, when I lived to impress my in-laws, I was sprucing up the guest space. They were arriving from out-of-town to visit a few days.

Oh, yes, they did, they came early!

Thinking it was one of my seven-year-old’s friends at the door, I swung it wide, “Come on in,” I waved the toilet brush, indicating my daughter’s room.

NewCleaningMethod@roxiewriterUh huh, I sure did a double take when my they shrunk from my gesture, creeping past me to the corner couch.  :/

A decade or so later, when I was trying new ways to approach housework, by cleaning in 10 minute bursts, I was caught again. As last time, I answered my front door swinging my toilet brush, expecting another of my daughter’s friends.

Nope. It was my freelance ghostwriting client, e- a-r-l-y! She quipped, “I suppose you’ve already started creating without me.”

Now I joke about my wand. Magically company appears…or not. It’s a bit unreliable. However, the bathrooms do appear clean!

Oh, I must go, I hear my doorbell!

53 Comments

  1. Hey there! My name is Ben, and I’m a fourteen year old aspiring comedian. I’m a big fan of your blog. I happen to have my own growing humor blog, and I was wondering if you might let me feature on your site. And if there’s anything I can do for you, just say the word.

    Let me know
    -Ben of bendeplume.com

  2. I love your title and topic! I can relate. I could sand blast my bathroom and it wouldn’t be clean enough for my German Mutter in-law.

    1. Hmmm, never thought of it as a talent, but I’ll keep it a secret, no sense taking it on the road for money, lol!
      Yep, D mentioned 45 minutes, but 10 sounds even better! I had been at the “every other day do something for an hour” schedule. 😉

    1. Me too, it’s the constancy, clean, then 5 minutes later it’s not. GRRRR!
      Hey, you’ve just given my new insight, D! I will try the 45 minute approach, thanks!

  3. Roxie,
    Those pesky guests and their ill-timed arrivals! 😉 And it’s always the toilet, isn’t it? Not the vacuuming or the sheet-changing– the toilet. Grrr!

    (Such a nice visit the other day, and I’m so glad you are on the way to recover!)

  4. Of all the household tasks, cleaning the toilet is the one I like the least. If only the brush could become a magic wand, I’d wave it so all the toilets of my friends, like you, would be clean and sparkly for eternity. Lv., Donna

  5. OMGoodness – what a laugh – the image is hilarious. There should be a LAW about arriving early at a destination, but since there’s not – only seems right that early company should be greeted with a bathroom toilet brush waved in hand! Thanks so much for the chuckle – and the image!! LOL.

  6. Roxie,
    Like you, your freelance client has a great sense of humor. I hope that shone through in the project. I have a new visual of you waving your wand. Funny! Another thought…perhaps you wear sunshades because your house is sparkling clean or on its way to be. 😉

    1. Good times, yes, some projects semi-serious but always involved laughter.
      Sparking clean? *snicker* oh how I wish that were true! But hold that thought, lol.

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