Surprise Memory SnapChat

Women should be celebrated, cherished, and honored. Not only on Mother’s Day, but every day.

A few weeks ago, my step mother-in-law had a knee replacement surgery. The day following her operation, the doctors discovered she had a dangerous bacterial infection, and was immediately given vigorous antibiotics.

Worse news, they told her to expect surgery the next day to extract that new replacement, and pack her knee cap with antibiotics and immovable cement! And she would need to continue antibiotics for at least 3 months. If all appeared okay, they would schedule knee replacement surgery, again.

After the cement-packing surgery, they transferred my MIL to a rehabilitation facility, closer to home, where she was during her August birthday.

We put on our thinking caps and came up with a “We Love You G.G.” surprise party! The rehab recreation coordinator gave us permission to decorate one of their sun rooms, so we could party in style. The red dress-up hats and beads were a huge hit with the guys!

Celebrating my mother-in-law’s birthday was a bit bittersweet, because it came on the heels of my own mother’s passing after her long battle with Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. But amidst the party planning that same week, I began creating a memory picture for my father, which also helped me through my grief.

memoryframeroxiewriterMy mother’s high school photo, in black and white, was tucked in a collage. I copied, (shhh, don’t tell anyone), enlarged and tinted the picture, printed it, and chose a frame. I gathered matching tonal fabrics and jewelry, laying out a pattern as I worked. After countless hours of hand stitching, beading and painting, it was finished.

I carefully wrapped it in tissue paper for our trip to Georgia over Labor Day weekend. My father, a man of few words, talked nonstop about how much he would cherish the picture.

Emotional ups and downs of everyday life. To be expected. But then I heard a news story that stunned me to believe we’ve reached a new low, one that drives straight down into the earth’s center, to the red hot core. Or maybe that’s only my anger?

A senior lady, in the locker room of a well-known gym, was publically violated by a Snapchat-er, who thought it would be amusing to publish the elder’s nude photo. The Daily Dot tells the story, including an update about the victim, here.

Does the social media devotee have elder family members? Is she uncomfortable with her own appearance? Many questions, few answers and more discussion is sure to come from this incident.

This is the world in which we now live: but karma still rolls like thunder, maybe just not with lightning speed. But it is inevitable.

My two cents? Women deserve to be honored.

What say you?



  1. That was a labor of love to give your mother-in-law that party. The gift you created of your mom’s high school photo embedded in jewelry and other decor was a wonderful expression of love as well. We need to always honor our mothers and other loved ones. Take care, girlfriend. Keep on keeping on.

  2. all the time not just on birthdays, Mom’s Day but every day they are with us and even after they are gone when we remember them. I love your tribute both you MIL and also your own Mom so that your Dad would have a picture of her. Thank you for sharing both of them with us I feel like I know your MIL and what she is going through and what your Mom went through as well. I love your line about what goes around comes around..exactly right…<3 Kat

    1. True, and I’m so glad you mentioned that – while they are here and when they’re gone. Thank you for your kind words, I do desire to honor them here and I appreciate that you saw this.
      Yes indeed, the boomerang effect, lol.

    1. Yes! In this post I chose older women as the focus. Absolutely moms with small children have my greatest respect! Tough job with cuddles and smiles, runny noses and poopie diapers as rewards.

  3. I am sorry you lost your mother like that. I lost mine 6 years ago after five or more years of Alzheimer’s be too. Your gift to your father was amazing!! I can not understand a person of such meanness, selfish arrogance and how they could do such a thing!

    1. My condolences to you, Joy. Very nasty thing, Alzheimers. It seems like we lost her years ago, and then again in July; we grieved twice.
      Social media has good and bad, definitely a weird world, for sure.

  4. Hi Roxie, so nice to meet you, thank you so much for following my blog. I am now following yours. I will have some catching up to do. I really was impressed at the very first post that I read of yours. I am looking forward to reading more when I can catch up.

        1. Good question, Joel, I appreciate you asking: I currently work with publishers, but I always answer and assist authors here. Let me know what questions you have and I will do my best to help. What are you looking for?

  5. How awful for your stepmother in law, but what a pick me up for her by laying on the party. I can also understand how thrilled your father must have been receiving the home-made photo frame with a photo of your mother.
    Cameras are everywhere nowadays and some people are real toe rags to misuse than in such a way.
    Lovely post dear Roxie except maybe for the last item.
    Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

        1. Very well, thanks, Ralph! Quiet weekend after busy week: watched both grandkids because my daughter had vein surgery this week. She developed leg problems during her 2nd pregnancy and was able to have some pain relief.

          1. That’s great that you are well dear Roxie. I do hope that your daughter recovers soon.
            Watching your grandkids is wonderful ….. looking after them is a different matter 😉 lol ❤

    1. Many thanks D! Appreciate your kind words! Hmmm, truly the youth have different rules and we’ll be leaning on them as our future unfolds. *shudders*
      But I was young once, and redeemed by experiences. 😉

  6. What a gorgeous tribute to your mom. (Also more cherished because you took the time and effort to create this – another gift) As we get older, what is important really changes.
    Snap chat and rapid fire-without- a-moment’s-thought-or-consideration instant gratification of attention social media has corrupted people’s understanding of right and wrong. It’s all about me me me look at me me me -( with a huge serving of “I’m so sensitive, don’t look at me crosseyed or utter anything even close to a microagressive remark…)
    Back to the drawing board. Maybe more elementary school plays where everyone is a vegetable and much more unsupervised – get along or sit out- free recesses on old fashion playgrounds with swings, slides, rough jump ropes, and a box of assorted balls (organize yourselves and go play)
    Need to shore up what was lost somehow – quickly

    1. Thanks Phil! Totally true! I’m ready to retire and add fun in my life – like creating with my hands again, lol.
      Aha, perhaps red rover and dodge ball had their place after all! I really can’t imagine where our world will be when my grandkids are parents. Don’t think I want to see it, either!

  7. HI Roxie,
    Today I want to celebrate YOU! I’ve missed our connections and want you to know I’m glad to be back in touch.
    Abireso, your life to you today, Barbara

  8. Roxie, The lack of respect people have for others (all others, not just women) completely astounds me. Do people have to experience the loss of a loved one to understand that every living being should be respected, honored, and cherished?

    I am so glad that you were able to bring joy to both your MIH and father with a few, thoughtful actions. All our actions, both good and bad, are paid back tenfold. There is a greater power out there that makes sure of that. I console myself with that when faced with the baldfaced, malicious crudity of people like that Snapchatter.

    1. Very true, Annette. It happens so often I should be inoculated by now, but I’m not.
      I agree, and we dig deep to get that strength cause sometimes it’s not visible through all the crap!

  9. My opinion, Yes, women should be honoured. At the very least treated with the respect they deserve.
    I’m sorry about your step-m.i.l., that’s tough luck but how she must have enjoyed the party in her honour in the respite place.How lucky she is to have caring family.
    The elder was treated badly. Even if she was happy with her own body, it is her own and not someone else’s to display in public.
    xxx Huge Hugs Roxie xxx

    1. Thanks, David, we had an amazing time. The staff joined in the festivities, and never once complained about how loud we were, lol.
      Great point, how dare someone try to take something as personal and publically display it!

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